TheLies…and the Eyes…of Ukraine

“Don’t enable me to overlook you.” – Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Written by Brett Redmayne-Titley Lviv, Western Ukraine….

“Don’t enable me to overlook you.” – Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Written by Brett Redmayne-Titley

Lviv, Western Ukraine.

The realities of this battle, as I anticipated earlier than arriving two weeks in the past, have been slowly discovered on the faces, within the voices and deep within the penetrating eyes of these affected by it. These are the innocents, principally, those that have a story to inform and parse no phrases in telling it.

The subsequent ninety-six hours would reveal their private horrors.

After a 5 hour journey packed collectively right into a cargo van full of meals and medical assist provides, we arrive in Lviv, Ukraine. Now, I sit alongside my 5 different passionate colleagues at a protracted picket desk that’s lined modestly and set in preparation for our welcome. We dig in, consuming what all of us fortunately admit is the best spaghetti sauce ever served. We’re very hungry. Our hosts are glad we’re right here.

The meal is served in an enormous white corridor in entrance of the altar of an historic Catholic church, dilapidated from age however nonetheless in use by our host, Roman, who’s a part of a worldwide Christian fellowship referred to as Reward Chapel. I used to be invited by founder, John McGovern, who I had the good fortune of bumping into whereas doing refugee interviews at Warsaw’s Central Station, the arrival level for a lot of escaping this battle, and the place three large all-white tents staffed by different assist employees present meals, sundries and shelter to all coming in from Ukraine.

Right here I search for interviews with refugees, however only some converse English.

In battle zones, being a impartial, fact-based reporter is just not attainable. Within the eyes of these affected, objectivity is perceived as as a substitute being on one finish of the polarities of this battle; East or West. As such, a very powerful lesson discovered from my time in Lebanon and Turkey is to ask many, many questions, whereas on the identical time preserving one’s mouth securely shut.

And, to pay attention…and watch intently!

Many I meet, right here in Lviv or whereas tramping the streets of Warsaw have skilled this battle, however from its periphery west of the Dnieper River with Kyiv at its northern finish close to Belarus. This doesn’t imply that they haven’t been affected or don’t categorical sturdy feelings. However it’s within the eyes of these interviewed who journey West that reveals whether or not an individual has certainly been internally stricken by this battle. The eyes being the mirrors of 1’s soul.

As I interviewed many, it’s their eyes that I give attention to to verify their many supplied truths.  Every time I’m reminded of what a hardened Hezbollah soldier informed me in 2018 whereas standing on the war-torn Israel/ Lebanon border overlooking Israel’s stolen Palestinian farmlands.

“When one sees his first lifeless man he remembers it perpetually. When a person sees a person a die, sees that man take his final breath after which turn into nonetheless, it stays perpetually… in his eyes!”

I’ve seen these eyes. In Lebanon. In Turkey. In airports on the gaunt, sallow faces of many khaki clothed GI’s getting back from battle: Their “thousand-mile stare,” wanting so intently at nothing, an unlit cigarette dangling unattended within the left hand,  slumped ahead in deep, deep thought, chin perched on the proper as their solely assist.

Within the 4 days to return, I’ll see these eyes thrice extra.


On the journey to Lviv, Ukraine John McGovern’s son-in-law Paul who’s our driver and a senior member of Reward Chapel sits subsequent to James who’s driving shotgun. He’s a youngish veteran who has seen battle and misplaced a detailed buddy in Afghanistan. James is right here to start a sponsored army extraction of individuals unknown since I don’t normally ask silly questions.

Each Paul and James do certainly effectively perceive the background and the explanations that offered little alternative however for Russia to hunt safety from NATO growth attributable to its nationwide pursuits whereas additionally defending the ravaged Japanese Ukrainians who’re extra Russian than Ukrainian in tradition and language. As James, put it, “When the battle began I assumed Putin was a chess grasp. However, “he continued, “I’ve modified on that. Now he’s dropping.” He admits that this opinion is just not very talked-about on the household eating desk again house in Georgia and that it’s based mostly on US intelligence offered. However, on one level all of us agree: We hate this battle.

Regardless of western media claiming that Zelensky’s household remained in Kyiv, Ukraine in assist, this isn’t doubtless true. Placing two and two collectively from a dialog with my Christian dinner host simply days earlier than, it’s fairly doubtless that it was James and his workforce,  now ready for him in Lviv, that had accomplished the “extraction”, of Zelensky’s daughter from Kyiv to Lviv two weeks earlier than. James didn’t thoughts admitting he was right here this time for the same mission.

Whereas our comrades within the different seats pay attention, decorum and a budding friendship created by my love of clever dialogue, forestall me from difficult Paul and James on a number of the data and opinions they share. Finer males I’ve not met, however items have been lacking in our dialogue and I hold these to myself, all of the whereas fearing {that a} slip of the tongue within the mistaken path would flip friendship into acrimony as was illustrated very sadly in Half One, of this sequence.

I’ve but to search out secure passage to Japanese Ukraine so I’ve supplied to our hosts at our dinner desk my restricted medical expertise and a powerful again in getting provides to the east. Because of the risks, Eastwards stockpiles of medical assist and meals are piling up in Lviv. The hazards are usually not notably Russian.

Zelensky, determined for troops after struggling large losses opened the jails of Western Ukraine to the criminals and subsequent armed them within the outlandish perception that regardless of brutal incarceration they’d really facet with Ukraine and direct their weapons eastwards. He claimed this was restricted to these prisoners with battle expertise, however this was not true as this could have been a really small subset since, apart from criminally razing the Donbas, a sanctioned crime, that is Ukraine’s first current battle. Not surprisingly, many turned their weapons and their newfound freedom to the West as a substitute for a renewed felony alternative. In battle, medical provides are sometimes value their weight in gold. So, aid provides for the refugees have greater than a Russian risk to take care of.

Regardless of a lot media distortion on the contrary, Lviv, eighty kilometres from the Polish border, has solely been affected by this battle attributable to its proximity and use for the incoming army arms and international mercenaries stockpiled on the outskirts of the city. Lviv has been hit by the Russian rockets however these have been restricted to purely army targets. There have been no civilian casualties as acknowledged by the Mayor of Lviv in a number of Telegram posts censored by western media. However, when the rockets fall everybody is aware of it. They’re large explosions.

Three days earlier than, I met with Michael, who’s with one other Christian group. He was in Lviv on the evening of Biden’s Warsaw speech of March 26 when three Russian rockets destroyed a munitions industrial space and an oil and lubricant facility. Sources indicated that these have been additionally used to retailer Western equipped munitions. “It shook us off the bed”, Mike mentioned to me on the Sunday. This was not stunning since Deputy Overseas Minister Sergei Ryabkov  on March 13 warned the U.S. that pumping weapons from a lot of nations it orchestrates isn’t only a harmful transfer, it’s an motion that makes these convoys respectable targets.”

I additionally spoke to at least one assist employee in Lviv who was within the close by village of Deliatyn within the Ivano-Frankivsk area 50km from the Romanian border, on March 18, when Russia reportedly used for the primary time a hypersonic missile that screamed in at Mach 5.5 with a direct hit on a deep underground bunker containing Ukrainian missiles and plane rockets donated by the west. Reportedly, over 200 incoming mercenaries have been additionally housed there for preliminary coaching. The blast as seen on video was colossal. Stated, Vincent, “Our complete lodge shook and we have been greater than 20 kilometres away! Shit fell everywhere in the ground like an earthquake. Thank God there was just one blast.”

All munitions and mercenaries and their drive to extend the horrors of battle eastwards have been vaporized, immediately. No civilians have been harm.

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Regardless of these strikes, Lviv strikes as regular. I see that the retailers are open and folks stroll casually because the buses and trains cross by as standard. This means that the general public right here is aware of from these experiences that Russia has not been attempting to victimize the harmless inhabitants of Lviv, as a substitute  utilizing precision superior munitions for purely army targets solely.

After our dinner, we’re additionally welcomed by Antone, who, he says, has simply acquired again from the East in Odessa. Mosha, Ukrainian and our sole lady companion on this journey interprets as Antone supplies us along with his tales of derring-do preventing Russians. He’s verbose and affable on a regular basis as he tells us of escaping the Russians repeatedly after attacking them with rifle hearth and a donated RPG.

That is the person who might have my life in his arms if I assist take provides East.

So, I pay very shut consideration. As to being a reporter, my colleagues have been sworn to secrecy for my safety. They hold this promise. So, as Antone continues his story I sometimes ask Mosha to translate a strategically benign query or extra to him.

Listening Within the wings is a brief, stout, stubble-faced man quietly standing, saying nothing. Because the story continues, I usually take a look at him intently earlier than returning my consideration to Antone. There’s something seemingly mistaken along with his ongoing story.

However it’s when this man sees me wanting his means and appears again into my eyes,  blank-faced, that I do know, what’s mistaken. It’s the storyteller.

The silent man now turns and leaves. With out a goodbye, he’s gone, however he seems to be at me one final time and for the primary time on this journey, I see essentially the most unmistakable affliction of battle. These eyes.

As Antone wraps up his story, I ask a number of extra questions, now not probing his testimony however the face of this man himself, smiling and speaking so shortly. No, I can’t be placing my life in danger with him. No. He has not seen battle.

In contrast to the person who mentioned nothing, I don’t see… these eyes.


With our enterprise now completed in Lviv, we assist employees hunker down within the van to start our lengthy return journey to Warsaw. One seat is now vacant.

Instantly, information of a brand new rocket strike in Lviv comes over Mosha’s cellphone…

It begins to snow. Unusual for this being late spring in early April… a seemingly very darkish pure remark levied upon us all about this God rattling battle!


Over the previous two weeks, I’ve heard very a lot. Nevertheless, I’m in Western Ukraine a really completely different actuality than the east the place actual battle there rages city by city, hour by hour. Warsaw is plastered in every single place with Ukrainian brilliant yellow and pale blue flags all fervently supporting battle in Ukraine. Distributors promote them on many road corners like they have been fruit and their colors adorn the billboards, retailers, buses, lamp posts, and subways because the radio and TV stations each ten minutes scream infomercials in assist of Ukraine as a part of this collective assist for battle.

Right here in Warsaw, most refugees, aside from these from Kyiv, have fled attributable to this impressed worry, not direct battle. Many admit this freely. Sure, they’ve household there and have heard a lot, however most are predisposed to their very own opinions derived years earlier than the battle started: Anti Russia. This sentiment is just not the case within the East. As I watch the night information, my lodge evening clerk interprets quickly this purely western narrative. As a counter, commonly,  my translator and buddy, Andrew, who’s Ukrainian texts me at odd hours with information from the east and it shortly turns into clear that the media in each Poland and Ukraine have deliberately made the truth of battle muddy.

Zelensky has banned all media protection in Ukraine, save one, and various views favouring peace are, as I might discover out are a dying sentence. Battle is the one sanctioned opinion allowed. Peace will get you arrested or shot.

This was proven yesterday April 14 when each Viktor Medvedchuk, a Ukrainian politician who was elected as Folks’s Deputy of Ukraine on 29 August 2019 and Main Common Valery Shaytanov from Ukraine’s Safety Service (SBU), have been arrested on very specious costs of “treason.” The total breadth of Western media joined in,  falsely accusing each males of being “Putin’s ally.”

That is utter garbage. I confirmed this with a current US inside contact right here in Ukraine (see: upcoming Half 4) in a name this morning and who is aware of each males effectively.

Their true crime is making the error of suggesting that Ukraine settle this battle and settle for peace. Each males know the reality: The Ukrainian military is taking staggering loses in males, materiel, and the power to resupply each. Zelensky’s on going purge of peace and “anti-heroes” was preceded two weeks in the past by his firing of each Naumov Andriy Olehovych, former chief of the Foremost Division of Inside Safety of the Safety Service of Ukraine, and Kryvoruchko Serhiy Oleksandrovych, former chief of the Workplace of the Safety Service of Ukraine within the Kherson area. Each of those males, too, are responsible of merely suggesting the brand new Ukrainian capital crime of “Peace.”

For Zelensky and Nato their private treason is permitting this battle to be fought proper right down to the final Ukrainian.


I’m pissed off. My aim of attending to the East the place the true tales of the atrocities there will definitely be informed by these refugees has met with my very own realities. The Russian embassy right here in Warsaw has now closed. The workers is burning every part earlier than they depart. Presumably, my visa utility to Russia is in one of many piles.

Regardless of my present proximity barely a day goes by that I don’t obtain movies and photos of the horrors happening within the Donbas and the East. My contact information is well discovered and because the begin of this sequence, I’ve obtained scores of Instagram, Telegram, Tick Toc or Whatsapp messages asking that I share these photos with the reader.

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However I refuse to have a look at any of them. Movies and photos may be doctored and used to sway a reporter’s work within the mistaken path away from goal reporting. This battle is now a media-inspired shit present and I can’t be part of it. So, I file these many solicitations away, by no means taking a look at a one, for I already know what they include, horror. I don’t have to look… or pay attention.

Besides as soon as.

At my first lodge, I meet Lee. English being relatively uncommon, he has stopped me, asking for data. In flip, I parry him for a similar.

Lee admits to being a US mercenary- former Airborne- paid, like James, to extract individuals unknown from an space close to Kyiv. He readily admits to figuring out of the Nazi philosophy hooked up to many within the Ukrainian army however is being paid effectively for his service to not care. He appears to lack high quality US intel since his questions are principally concerning the roads and army past Kyiv and I can not reply past Lviv.

He appears out of his league right here. Apparently, he asks if I’ve contacts for protecting gear like flack jackets and helmets. I warn him of the risks, not of the Russians who’re principally east of his goal, however of the Ukrainians. Days earlier than, Andrew my translator, had despatched me three of the numerous movies I’ve obtained, telling me, “The person being tortured is talking Russian. His killers are talking Ukrainian,” in his effort to coach me.

However, once more, I refuse to entry these movies.

However Lee appears a great child, however too filled with US-inspired bravado to heed my warning. To assist I inform him of Andrew’s movies, although I haven’t considered them. He doesn’t imagine me and asks me to indicate him. I scroll to the proper spot on Whatsapp and hand him my cellphone and he eagerly faucets the primary, second after which third video to life.

Screams, the likes of which couldn’t be faked, shriek from my cellphone and I shut my eyes arduous shut in a determined and failed try to not hear.

He arms me again my cellphone. “Yeah”, he says, “That’s fairly unhealthy.”


“Please, inform my story.”

As I put my boots on the bottom another time, nonetheless caught in Warsaw I bear in mind the guardian angel that has steered me effectively throughout my occasions reporting in international lands. Sitting and stewing in a dank lodge room doesn’t present the story… nor luck.

So, I return to Central Station, Warsaw. Whereas doing a little bit of photograph enhancing and sitting on one of many very close by concrete benches on the grounds in entrance of the large soviet Palace of Tradition and Science constructing, my look comes up from my display screen. Straight in entrance of me is an outdated man stooped and holding a cane. He’s shifting immediately at me. He seems fairly frail and he’s now only a few yards away, so shut I’m afraid he’s blind. However he stops, now shut sufficient to talk. “You’re a journalist,” he says in good, however closely accented English, not as a query, however surprisingly as a press release. I nod, undecided how far English will take me. “Will you assist me,” he gives and I assume he means a donation and attain for my pink day pack. “No, no, no…” he responds, “I’ve issues to inform you.”

I get to my ft and supply him my arm which he takes frivolously in each arms as I assist steer his half-bent physique subsequent to me onto the concrete bench. Greater than an hour later, because the snow flurries once more cry in response from the gray gloom above, I bid him goodbye. What he has informed me has introduced a tear to my eyes, prayers to my lips and hatred to my coronary heart.

Abram is from Markivka and has traversed the battle zone of the east to fulfill his daughter and two granddaughters who have been already right here the previous two weeks from simply south of Kyiv. It turned out I had spoken to his daughter Taisaya earlier that morning at Central Station as a result of she additionally spoke sufficient English. I had apparently left a lot too shortly since her two little ladies had mentioned they have been ready for his or her granddad to reach, however trains right here now not observe a scripted schedule. The women have been filled with joyful smiles, ready. I had informed their Mum that I wished testimonies from the east, however she couldn’t assist. I had forgotten their names however remembered the encounter effectively.

Over that subsequent hour, as I scribbled furiously, Abram informed me of being trapped in Markivka because the battle started, not by the Russians however by the Ukrainian Military (AFU), what he repeatedly referred to as the “Banderists.” These following this sequence know what meaning: Nazis.

Abram is a Russian Jew and proudly admits to serving within the Crimson Military, notably in Afghanistan. “We did many mistaken issues there,” he started, “however these Banderists they hate, their hearts, filled with hate. All the time hate. A few years, solely hate!” Stupidly I supplied the main query, “why?.” Abram, who had been wanting down whereas delivering his ideas straightened in a begin, now wanting me within the eyes like a father scolding a baby, “As a result of we’re Russian!”

Abram talked, then, concerning the occasions effectively earlier than the 2014 Maidan Sq. Orange revolution, a time when Ukraine was definitely divided into ethnic areas, however when the Donbas, Donetsk, Luhansk and jap Ukraine, though attracting a a lot bigger share of Jews and ethnic Russians was simply that, a area of Ukraine. East labored effectively with west. He spoke of small circumstances of anti-Semitism and anti-Russian sentiment however as he put it, “Once we have been Soviet, we have been all associates.”

In keeping with Abram that each one modified shortly in 2014, “We grew to become canine!” he spat. “However you kick a canine as soon as, he runs. You kick a canine once more and he seems to be you within the eyes, asking why” However, he slowed for emphasis, “You kick a canine thrice… and he bites.” He talked concerning the instant assaults by the AFU after the west overturned the election of Viktor Yanukovych who was himself from Donetsk in Japanese Ukraine. Persevering with he mentioned,

“What we wish then is independence. Already we have been. To not be part of Russia. That we wished it is a lie. They made battle from the west on us of the East. As a result of we converse Russian? We love Russia? Not solely, this…”

and right here he once more glanced up from his ideas and for emphasis,

“As a result of the Banderists hate Russia. Since you… I’m sorry.. your nation… hates Russia. And we’re Russian in our hearts! We don’t hate America. We love Ukraine!  However you… I’m sorry once more… your nation, it hates Russia!”

His anger was understood. Abram’s spouse had been killed within the indiscriminate artillery shelling by the AFU when a spherical within the early morning hit the store the place she labored as a clerk and when she was opening for the day. He requested me if I knew what terror was, however answered his personal query, “It’s to by no means know, any time when dying will come.” He mentioned the Banderists would go days, weeks, months with out firing a shot at his village after which instantly open hearth from many miles away and at no goal specifically. “For a few years we couldn’t know when who can be the following to die. And…” he added, “for seven years we beg Putin for assist.”

It was three weeks earlier than he lastly left Marikiva however that was when the Russian military had pressured the AFU out. In keeping with Abram the AFU held them within the basement the entire time; a horror of its personal. Little meals, no toilet- buckets- far too many searching for refuge there after the AFU had commandeered his constructing for his or her security, utilizing it for the vantage factors and firing alternatives offered by the tall buildings. When the AFU was pressured out by the Russians they fired at it with RPGs whereas he and the greater than forty within the basement screamed in terror.

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He had escaped Markivka and moved west through Belarus, however his youthful brother was killed as he tried to make use of the humanitarian hall created not by the AFU however by the Russians. He was supposed to fulfill his brother Leonid in Prosian on the best way to the Belarus border. He didn’t make it. It was a neighbour buddy who informed him.

Abram informed of seeing from his home windows AFU troopers digging mines into the roads to cease folks from leaving his city. “Solely we stroll on concrete. No mines underneath concrete,” he mentioned.”However you stroll on concrete they usually shoot you.” His brother died when he and two household males, two ladies and their kids stepped by a tripwire planted by the AFU as they walked by the roadside brush off the street to Prosian. A neighbour buddy and others have been with one other group far sufficient behind to dwell. It was the Russian military that responded, not the AFU. The lads, main, died immediately. The others died on the scene.

Breaking the horrible information in Prosian his brother’s neighbour had delivered to him his brother’s watch. Abram, as he reached into his pocket, his face and his arms have been trembling. I knew what was coming. Shaking, he held out an outdated, worn however beautiful golden wind up watch, the gold wrist band principally gone, the lens fractured in uneven quadrants, however I might nonetheless make out the precise time of this horror: 5:39. Am. Pm. It simply didn’t matter…anymore.

“That is what’s left of my brother…”


His daughter Taisaya and granddaughters, Kristina and Alina, shock me. They’ve been ready out of sight all through Abram’s time with me and now stroll as much as assist their Grandfather house. I have no idea if they’ve heard of this horror. I hug all of them for no, or just one, good purpose.

As I assist him to his ft, inserting Abram’s cane again in his hand and being certain he’s steadily balanced, he struggles to straighten himself totally to correctly supply his hand. I used to be shocked that he’s virtually my peak. I supply my hand in return, and he takes it in his, a delicate contact, now taking a look at me intently as if to check my mettle for one final time.

Abram is smiling now. “My daughter mentioned you’re a journalist. Go to the east as you need. You’ll know what I mentioned is so.” he says as an ending.“Then, please…  inform my story.”

“Thanks…” he provides earlier than turning perpetually away. However simply earlier than he did, I noticed his face clearly, and I knew his story was true.

I noticed, as soon as extra…these eyes.


I’ll view them now. These movies. The photographs. I really feel an obligation. To Abram, to Leonid, to my Christian associates in Lviv, to Andrew and each refugee I’ve interviewed and people I’ve not, alive or lifeless.

Sitting on my accommodations mattress, pillows piled behind me, I draw these photos and movies up on my laptop computer and entry the recordsdata on my cellphone I metal myself with a six-pack shut at hand. I’ve my translator app at hand solely to know what language of this battle is being spoken. As I prepared myself I shut my eyes lengthy and arduous as soon as once more remembering Lee, the mercenary’s, last remark as a result of I do know it’s going to be “fairly unhealthy.”


The lifeless, the wounded writhing, their screams rising till silent, their phrases testimonies I don’t perceive, however but I do, the views of the barbarian AFU planting mines, capturing at civilian targets, on the occupants of the buildings, or simply the buildings, the bloodied faces screaming for vengeance into the digital camera, the artillery strikes into buildings as white flags wave, the slit throats, the tears, the kids clutching lifeless moms, moms holding lifeless sons, husbands, brothers for the ultimate time or breath, the blood, so, a lot blood, and on a regular basis too, too, an excessive amount of horror. There have to be a greater singular phrase to make use of, however I’m speechless. It’s merely, purely…Horror!

Every time I transfer to the following file, I power myself to take action, swilling beer to boring my outrage that solely will increase with each pull on the bottle and new atrocity. I’ll honour all of them, should end what I began.

Greater than two hours later I’m spent. I’m performed. I’m drunk. I’ve now seen with my very own eyes…

I journey over bottles as I head for my lavatory. I have to wash this all from my face. Wash it from my thoughts.

From the sink I splash chilly. chilly water over my complete head, determined for aid. Greedy for a white towel at hand I look into the mirror, however my eyes is not going to focus. All I see is a kaleidoscope of these photos swirling, mixing all in a cacophony tinged with pink that may not go away.

Because the towel pulls down from my face, focus slowly comes again to view. Within the mirror, I look deeply into my very own ashen face, drawn, drained, weary from my two weeks, till this second improperly stricken by this God rattling battle.

After which I see them, staring again at me with pinpoint accuracy, my testimony to the brutal reality of this battle. There, within the mirror, staring again at me,  I see…

These Eyes!

                                                               – The Finish-

Dedication: To Matias R., Michel C., Ron U., Jeff B., Jan O., and SF. Thanks for preserving me going! Peace…

Creator’s WordThis concludes Half Three of my sequence, “Vacation spot Ukraine.” For additional perception, please see Half One, “The Ignorance of Battle,” and Half Two, “Will Poland Go Rogue?”

In regards to the Creator: Brett Redmayne-Titley has spent the final decade travelling and documenting the “Sorrows of Empire.” He has authored over 200 articles all of which have been printed and infrequently republished and translated by information companies worldwide. An archive of his many articles may be discovered at He may be contacted at live-on-scene ((@))